it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
