At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
