Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
