well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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