I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
