Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
