I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
