Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This girl is more easily done than said...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
