She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
