Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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