you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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