i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
