guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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