I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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