I got chris browned last night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
