Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
