Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
