he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am available for nakedness
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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