he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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