I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
