I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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