So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
