what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is classic penis vs brain.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
