Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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