I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
