I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
