It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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