I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
