i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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