I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
