you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
