oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
