RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
