PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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