If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Alive.
So much puke
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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