i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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