she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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