I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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