I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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