No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
