I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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