I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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