So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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