please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
