sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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