and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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