Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
