i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
