Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
