Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?