Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
