Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
